I got so many reactions from so many men so quickly. I obviously had to weed through the bad ones.
Then I came across a profile that seemed genuine and sincere and most importantly, non-threatening. His name is Dan. I met up with him eventually for coffee.
On our date we awkwardly sat inside a Starbucks getting to know each other. I was nervous. He was quiet. It was weird. After about 45 minutes my date asked if I wanted to go outside. It was summertime, and hot that day. I was glad I had an iced drink. We went outside and walked for another 15 minutes or so, talking about random things everyone talks about on a first date.
Suddenly he asked if I wanted to sit in his car. It was much more like an SUV type of truck than a car. I said sure. We sat in the back. The windows were dark. There were so many people around.
Dan took out his penis. I hadn’t seen a cock in quite awhile but his was quite large and I considered whether or not I would even be able to have sex with Dan. But right then all he wanted was a hand-job. I can’t remember exactly how it went down but I ended up giving Dan two hand-jobs over the course of an hour or two and he fully came twice. It made me feel good to have been able to accomplish that for him. I wasn’t ready to be touched and Dan either sensed that or didn’t care at the time. Either way, I had my first sexual encounter since my crying days with Gary, and it was exciting and pleasant.
After Dan came a second time, we agreed that it was getting late and we’d talk again soon. I honestly didn’t think I’d hear from Dan again, despite the fact that he was extremely happy with my ability to pleasure him. But I was wrong. He contacted me later that night and said he was looking forward to seeing me again soon.
Surprised, I was excited to see if he would become my first sexual partner since sex had been traumatic for me. I decided I would try with Dan and he would be my first good experience, as long as I could ensure that happened.
I made rules for myself. First, I would always drive to the place of the person I was seeing so I wouldn’t drink. I never drink and drive. Ever. There would be no mixing sex and alcohol during these sessions. I thought that was the most important rule for myself. Second, I would explain to any prospective partner my background and that I was looking for sex that would make me feel safe, and I would explain this in annoyingly explicit detail. Third, I made a pact with the person I was seeing that we would only sleep with each other for the duration of time we were sleeping together. Fourth, either one of us could decide to terminate the arrangement at any time for any reason and there would be no hard feelings. After all, I was basically using men for their penises. Fifth, I would always use my prophylactic given to my by my family physician to prevent UTIs. Finally, we had to have safe sex. I wanted my partners tested before they slept with me. Spoiler alert, all of them complied, until I started bending that rule anyway. I was on birth control and the men would use condoms anyway, just to be safe.
With these rules in place, I was ready for some kind and gentle sex with whoever met the qualifications I laid out both in my profile and then in my rules.
JustCallMeTaco 